I've recently neglected the computer for at least a week or so but it's been a rather satisfying break from technology. I suppose I am a little disappointed that I've barely had any of my pre-planned plans come to fruition. So, I'm dubbing this summer as another spiritual journey--to tell you the truth I have had a couple of epiphanies about life lately.

I've been thinking a lot that I'm going to go ahead and make an enormous blog entry about it, as a way of making an early welcome for August...and my junior year of high school. ^_^

Okay. During that break from the computer I swear I felt a little down. At that time I couldn't draw anything right nor bring myself to write anything. So a little freetime got me thinking. The only reason I began writing was because of a friend I had during junior high. I think it actually spawned from jealousy--and only now do I know this. I can't even write decently but I still tried to write a novel. Of course I did, I wrote away into several notebooks and even typed away a couple of hours into a word processor. However, it was very mediocre. Probably the most cliche story--now that I look back at it-- of course I was around 12 years or so...and I actually thought that I could get published. Well, whatever I did, I could never write like that person. Now that I look back I thought of my writing as more of a competition between her and I...that brings me to the subject of poems. The only thing she said that I did better than her (at the time) but that was only because I could rhyme. Presently, I barely write poems anymore nor focus much on writing that 'story.' I think I'm more better with creating ideas rather than go into depth and take the time to sit, pen in hand, and write away. Putting extra thought in that, I do have an attention problem...O_O I can barely sit still! (lol)

To put all that info together, it all comes to me not exactly a good writer. I just write whatever comes to mind so I figured--to put good use to my mediocre writing talent-- I'd rather be a manga artist.

Now onto more of my troubles that I thought over during that break. Drawing. I'd say I have decent drawing skills for my age but I'm constantly pressuring myself to draw more and more than I am able to. This causes a lot of problems because as much as I love to draw I can easily break down and get tired of it. As much as I can see an idea in my head, once I get that paper and pencil--everything turns different than what was wanted. I'm also debating between styles--I don't have a specific style that I can stick to...I'm constantly experimenting with what I do and that is kind of tiring.

And to sum that up, I don't know where I'm going with my art. I'm starting to doubt myself a lot as well as my future? Ah, if only answers could be easier to find...or if time stopped for awhile or if dreams lasted for more than one night. I've hit a brick wall as of late. ^_^''

Currently, I'm just relaxing. Too much thinking can't possibly be good. I'm also kind of happy that school is coming since every day, something new happens--and so far-- I haven't budged from where I live, sure I get to go to the bookstore on the weekends but it's very redundant. The only thing thats new is a game that I've been playing and I'm waiting patiently for the call of the volleyball coach so I can get a shot into the volleyball team. This would be my first time actually trying out for a sport...and also my first time getting a physical. (which I desperately hope is scheduled as planned) -_-''

So that's the news as of today! Cheers!