These wings aren't really here, they're just the trick of the light.
Showing posts with label School. Show all posts

Back to School (in 2010)

1:49 AM
I don't know what I was thinking but I'm sure I was out of my mind.

No I won't be leaving this blog. I've put my time and thoughts into it and I've gone too far to delete it now.

So...hopefully this shall be a better year (even if only a little bit) in life and creative endeavors.

The 5-shot I posted was something based on my thoughts and...guess what? I finished it. If I can finish that then surely I can finish the other projects I've left laying around.

I won't call this a resolution but I will call it as a goal.

For everyone who still checks back and reads this, thank you. I probably don't show it much in my (presently) negative posts but I truly appreciate blogging communities.

Well, that's about it. I'm supposed to have school in...7 or so hours and I'm totally not thinking about it.
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Where I babble about Cosplay...and Life

10:04 PM
I can't remember when I last posted something not writing-related...

Well, school is going along okay. Also, I have been getting into poetry lately (because we're reading Beowulf in class) and that's certainly interesting. A lot of papers have accumulated since I wrote my first lyric poem and am thinking of getting a separate binder to put them in, instead of cramming it down notebook sleeves.

Here's some news: I'm going to be 17 next Saturday and I'm not sure whether I should be excited or...not excited. It's only a number but I'll be that much closer to being seen and accounted for as an adult (as it so happens, it's likely I'll have to buy insurance for myself soon - give or take several years since I plan to go to some college). And...frankly... I'm not liking that. Only because I'm still undecided as to what I want to do, well, I am (somewhat), but it seems more like a dream to me (by that I mean to draw or become an illustrator of some sort).

So yeah... I'm pretty anxious about it and no matter how much I try to not think about the future - just all the possibilities and all - I can't (or I obsess about how much I can't suppress the fact that I am worried).

But, to go to a lighter topic, Halloween is on a Saturday this year! I plan to dress up and possibly take pictures! After weeks of thought it's official that I'll be cosplaying this year as...


Miharu Rokujou from Nabari no Ou ( or Ruler of Nabari)!

I watched the anime and loved it. I'm planning to read the manga soon since the manga is always better and is much longer than the animation.

Anywho... It's going to be my first time cosplaying (though I doubt I'll be going to an anime convention anytime soon - b/c it's a given that people will recognize you and stuff which makes dressing up more enjoyable since you're around fellow fans).

Unlike some amazing people out there who make their own costumes I have to go shopping for the pieces - I've even changed the costume up a bit so it fits my body type. In the cosplaying world (yes, I've about googled my fill about this subject) specific details are a plus BUT because of my height - and the nature of his clothes (a bit loose up top since his body type - like most anime characters - is impossibly small and lean) I'm sure it'll look awkward if I had gray trousers with an oversized jacket. If it's anything, I've changed those trousers to somewhat short shorts and hopefully knee-length socks (or higher). So, it would almost be like the female version of him but also not because of this picture...


...yep.

Shopping around - got to keep to a budget you know? - is going to be a pain because I've made it mandatory on myself to assemble the pieces I already got/have (sweater, dress shirt) with the ones I need to see if it fits with everything else... I'm just wondering how I'm going to sneak the shoes in... >.>

In hopes of moving on from me talking about my costume it's a decent anime about modern ninjas. Way, way shorter than the ever-so popular Naruto and ten times more emotional.

And just mentioning emotional, I must mention as well that I cried (hence why I'm a fan).

All in all I liked it but it's not for everybody (like...boys for example because shounen-ai is hinted - boy's love - even though it isn't like that >.> well, not in my mind...not sure about everyone else).

Maybe it has a lot to do with a woman being the creator/ artist? (b/c it has that emotional element to it that's kind of downplayed in regular shonen stories).

What else to mention...?

Oh, I know it's autumn and all (hooray) but my room is still stupidly hot (and I'm not partial to heat). So I've been camping up in the parent's bedroom since it's much cooler - and I said this to explain why I haven't been on the computer much...at all.) I have been online for special instances however, like school stuff and updating my fictionpress account - just throwing it out there /fail

Right now, if it came up, I'm using my dad's laptop so thank it people because it made this post possible xD...and Kanye bites donkey-butt for his remark (now he's a meme - lol - but some people disagree it seems:)



xD Anyway, I hope everyone's doing well - I can see you're all posting though! I wish I had some time to look over them but I have to get to work on homework - my anatomy class is oh so tedious (tons of notes, tons of drawings to go with the notes, and review questions that number to approximately 3 to 4 pairs of hands...at least!).

Okay...now back to looking up info on Beowulf for that essay...

K.WEST: YO, LAELAH, I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU AND I'M GONNA LET YOU FINISH BUT GILGAMESH WAS ONE OF THE GREATEST EPICS OF ALL TIME!!

... /phael

Memes are hilarious.
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Seniority~

5:02 PM
Favorite song at the moment...


The Saltwater Room - Owl City



?!Por que?!


It's only been the second day and it's...great.

Here's my schedule:

1 - American Government/Drafting
2 - English 4
3 - Anatomy & Physiology
4 - Algebra II
5 - Art I/Economics
6 - Horticulture

* the classes after the / are the classes I'll have in the Spring Semester


Alright. I know I've mentioned something about me not being a Math person but it's really weird that a Senior should have Alg II in the first place. >.>

I have a theory on why I despise Math but I'd end up typing two or two hundred paragraphs of me putting my hatred/dislike of Mathematics in layman's terms. BUT, being that this is the only class I really need to focus on (since everything else, even English, is fairly easy stuff) that's enough to motivate me to even want to learn about stuff I may/may not use later on. :) I decided on Illustration as my major (finally decided and I feel better about it).

So, to my First Day of school -

I've covered the whole Mother Nature sabotaging me part in the last post so I'll just move along (so I can get some work done).

First of all, I almost panicked because I wasn't sure where my class was so I had to ask a teacher...and...wow. D: For that brief second, I was reminded of Grey, the protagonist from Year Zero. Of course, it was a tiny voice at the time but as I walked away I couldn't help but mentally slap myself.

You know on every first day, you look for people you know in your classes. Whether you want to or not, it's what you do. You can't help it since it is a new year and all. :) Walking in first period (and I wasn't tardy, woo!) I felt awkward. I mean, you see empty seats and a sparse amount of people and they're all looking at the doorway. But, fortunately, there was someone I somewhat knew and that made it better.

Second period, not so lucky. Though I do have some people from last year's English class but it isn't like I talk to them frequently.

After second, we have a ten minute break called Brunch... In which I met someone too (and that made me happy).

Third...was interesting. The teacher's kinda cool - like the intelligent-cool teacher everyone has mixed reactions about - though the introductory speech dragged a bit. And me, being a fool and sleeping two or so hours before having to wake up, was nodding off. That is the last thing you want to do ever when you have a teacher like this guy - there's that fine line between lenient and strict.

Fourth I coincidentally have the same teacher I had when I took Algebra II during Sophomore year. D: Yes. I have failed this damn class for two years straight but do take into account that some serious family crap was going on and I nearly bombed all my classes then. Sophomore year and partial of Junior year is something I'd rather not remember.

Anyways, pretty basic stuff... NOT. I'd hate to get all girly on you guys but there was this German exchange student who everyone (mostly the girls) freaked out over. (Damn my modesty or lack of caring/shallowness) Simply put, he was just really really pretty...for a dude. Not just that, he was tall and had a really deep accent. It sucks how many of the girls paid more attention to him than the Chinese Exchange student. I was also reminded of a character, who, if they lived here, on Earth, would probably be German...

After was lunch. It was a sad lunch. xD I walked around in the halls just looking for a spot to sit - and was perusing to see where my next class would be when... HOLY -- Sorry people, I have this fixation on awesomely styled hair (it's 'cause I'm strangely attached to my hair - it's fairly long now atm >.> it's something from my childhood when my dad used to cut my hair and it made me sad as to how straight and short it was always cut. It was also the era before I had bangs). But yeah... Sadly, I think I'm hated by this person (or just awkward on some levels - again, something happened between the both of us during Sophomore year - yep, right when I was feeling my lowest). We aren't on speaking terms but :) "Thank you" is what I'd say if I ever get the chance (like never)... Though I doubt they'll know why I'm thanking them.

So after, looking around, I found a good spot to sit, read some chapters of The Brothers Karamazov till the bell rang and along I went to...

Art class! In which the teacher was new and originally came from Germany with English as her second language. And people were rude enough to make fun of her without her knowing. It was just a lot of introductions again. I was hoping that we could do some drawing excercises - like shading, shapes etc. but that didn't happen. I was disappointed but today we got working (somewhat). I'm still nervous about drawing with people next to me though...

Sixth period is Horticulture...more like Landscaping. Fortunately, I am not alone. :) Fun times. We basically pulled weeds, raked, swept, hosed down windows... It's just awesome. Not to mention we get to plant stuff later on. I think it's epic that this is a year-long class! What a way to end the day right?

So there.

First days are always awkward. Actually any "First..." thing is. It's almost like it's built right into the word itself. There's the general nervousness, the excitement, the letdowns and the relief you feel after the day is done.

I may sound as if I'm talking/typing right out of my arse, but it's my last First day on the school I've attended to for three years. In those three years I actually liked this school. Also, it's somewhat reassuring that two of my half-brothers walked the same halls and fields. But now it's being torn down and redone. I feel that at the end of the year I will lose something and gain something in return. I'm unsure as to how large this thing I lose will be, I mean, what if what I gain and lose don't equal up? It wouldn't seem very fair.

Anywho, there's my fear for you. One of my fears. The other fear are the words I will never say to the people I will never, most likely never ever ever see again.

Oh and the answer to this riddle was...

A writer's notebook! /fail
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An inability to sleep it seems...

2:33 AM

Look away! Aaah...it burns.... (damn the cuteness/creepy cat)

Hi people!

It's a record 2:35 am and it's officially the second day of senior year...
Fantastic...

But seriously, the first day went alright - better than I expected anyway being it my last first day (and it's a big deal since this'll be the last year before the school is entirely rebuilt and everything is shiny and clean and neat and "futuristic") - but it could've been better if Mother Nature didn't decide to pay me a visit on the same day. I would've been fine if it was...say...next week...but no. It just had to be this week and on that day - Wednesday (which I consider to be the butt of the entire week) - and I am abusing italics it appears!

Anywho, I'm going to try to sleep (I get an A for effort) and maybe tomorrow I can blog about my impressions. There were certainly some interesting things I noticed and such and such that I can't think of at the moment...

Till later today then! (if I don't fall asleep in the afternoon...again)
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Of rants and poetry and aquariums

12:05 AM
Think happy thoughts
to pave the path of a fitful sleep
Dream the dreams that a child makes
to rekindle the light
at the end of the tunnel

Honestly, I'm dead tired. Yesterday I took a nap in the afternoon and didn't wake till an hour before midnight. And I don't mean just wake up and go back to sleep but I was WIDE AWAKE. Holy spitfire seahorse on a chicken wing... *shakes head* Wait a minute there's nothing holy about that! [/end lameness]

So I ended up staying up till 5: 30 or 40 AM before I could sleep...for one hour. During that time however I listened to music, typed up some Year Zero related stuff and read some chapters of The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (I ended up finishing it today and it wasn't that bad :D It isn't boring like some classmates of mine said >_>)

Oh. I finally stood up for myself for once in English class. God. I have a normal English class (b/c I used to have Honors English in the past or, if you want to take it a step higher, would have gotten to AP if I wanted) and I question how my teacher can bear with some of the students in that class on a daily basis because if you stay there too long, it just turns into a madhouse full of children and you too go mad. Exaggeration? Maybe, maybe not. It could also be my exhaustion talking but I really meant what I said. :)

But yes. We were supposed to answer some questions for the assigned chapters in Gatsby (which I finished in time the period before. As mentioned earlier, I read ahead so I asked for the questions that we were supposed to get tomorrow) and I was asked whether they (the person behind me) "could see the questions." All right. I'm a nice person and I didn't know what to say anyways since I was focused on something else. So I give the paper, she looks at it. Asks me to point out a couple of words that she can't decipher (because my writing is a mixture of cursive and print on a right-slant I'll have to post a sample some day) until she finally gives up.

"Can I see your paper?" she asks another student.
'Why? Isn't that it there?" they reply.
"Yeah but I can't read this s***!" She hands me the paper. "Here you go, thank you."

I thought: Your welcome... Not.

Minutes later, another person asked for the same paper (who happened to sit next to the one behind me. Yes, they were friends) and I said something along the lines of, "No because you won't learn anything that way. Sorry."
She asks, "Why didn't you say that earlier?"
"Because I just thought of it."
'Wait. What did she say?" says the one behind me.
And so she repeats what I said and they laugh.

Now my thoughts on this were: Can you be anymore immature? At least I'm honest.

In the sense that I don't talk behind other people's backs and curse at teachers for "bein' stupid." I hear too many things in that class that is beyond stupidity and immature that its insulting. I know teenagers can be smarter than this. But this...this is the stereotypical teen you see in those adult-oriented movies with crude humor. And I've asked myself in that class what the world later on is going to be like when it's these same people who're going to vote and have families. :| But I'm getting ahead of myself. Like in the novel:
"Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone...just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages you've had."
And just like the protagonist, as an individual I (and I find it terrible that I sound very vain and horribly judgmental right now) am very tolerant, open-minded and listen more than I speak. These traits may denote a mild-mannered person but it's conflicting when you know that there are two sides to everybody. What I've seen and heard is only one side of the people in that classroom and I don't have the right to say that out loud because it isn't true. It isn't as if I've talked to each of them personally, getting to know them, you know the whole notepad and pen shizz that newsreporters do. I can't give facts. I can only speculate and theorize. And because of my initial dislike for teen subcultures and labels, I cannot bring myself to understand half of the terms that the youth today use to substitute for another word... :| and most tend to be inappropriate... All right. I'm going to stop and rest.
But, simply, I feel like the kid outside the aquarium. I find the creatures inside fascinating so I take a footstool and reach for one, finding that it slips through my fingers. I try and try and try but each evade my grasp until an adult scolds me and takes me to the sink so I can wash my hands. When the adult leaves, I try again but to no avail.

"I want to know what it's like," the child says. "I want to have one just like it. The very same one, that colorful one right there." But the one the child pointed out was too expensive and not meant for children.


Forgive me it appears that I've ranted... :|
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A busy weekend (?)

4:46 PM
Apparently this weekend I'll be going a certain somewhere to a certain airport to pick up a certain relative or two of my cousin's. Yeah. Just felt like making the sentence sound...complicated.

There shall also be sight-seeing and amusement park rides...though I wish that not a lot of money be spent...that, and if the weather won't be so hot this weekend (which, according to the news reports, it shall). *shakes fist at California weather*

There is bad news too (not that I'm saying that this visit won't particularly be good news. Kidding.).

The bad news is that I will not have not have access to my beloved desktop (maybe a laptop) which means that I cannot edit or type how I please. Though I may be able to visit Blogger and post a wee snippet or two at night. Just know that I will bring my trusty pen and journal, my music, a good book and good thoughts. Of course, there's the clothes and toiletries but honestly that's a bit boring.

I can't say much because I just learned about this yesterday. So, I'll see how that all works out.

Lately I've been picking at the draft I wrote for NaNoWriMo while doing this and that on another story. It's fun, so far, and exhausting. But that's only because I have a report due at the end of the week for English, while still being able to cram for the state tests (which got moved to next week due to the swine flu "epidemic") so I'm a little worn out. Oh. I also have a test on Thursday and my teacher expects us to know the material that we started at the end of last week. How fun. Also, my allergies are acting up and this cough is very stubborn. Exciting, isn't it?

Can you tell that I'm brimming with enthusiasm?

Here's to the others who are having a better week than me.

If you want a small laugh. Click here. :)
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Nothing interesting here...

9:20 AM
Hello all
who read this
nothing interesting
to say today
except that
I'm trying my best
to keep my head up
and smile
because it's a brand new day
and I HOPE that you too
feel the same

Nothing substantial today
only because the day is starting
and it's Senior Ditch day
so the class is partially boring
can you not tell that already?
with the format of this post the way it is?

Maybe I'll come up
with something
more interesting
because I'm completely bored out of my wits
and long to go home
turn on the computer
blast music
and type away at a draft like there's no tomorrow
(which, unfortunately, there is)

It just feels
that whatever's up there
(you know what I mean)
is a bit lenient today
not that I believe
my luck today
is caused by the hands of a superior being, per se
(whatever per se means, I forget)

But yes
I'm rambling
but I don't have much work to do here
so...yeah.
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Poetry & blankets make for lazy afternoons EDIT

6:27 PM
What is there
but a bleeding heart
that tears
so easily in your hands
thou art—

a lover
a dreamer
a friend
a schemer

The hand I held out
you didn't take
your eyes unnervingly cold with hate
at the weakness I displayed
how long must thou make—

me wait
for thy hand
a smile
a reassuring glance

Before I tumble to the depths below
deeper and deeper, per chance
into what my sorrows created—
a place with no sweet hello—

"my dear
what keeps you here?
your tears are spent
your heart taken...
what is left but a hollow maiden?"

Woe is me
glass eyes replacing
the once bright sheen; she—
through the mirror—her beating heart racing—

under the familiar gaze
of a master, a maker
of broken hearts
of legends and legacies
the maiden lost in a spell
that ordinary men cannot quell

Woe!
All is lost!
Drop the red tresses of the end curtain
to silence the hungry crowd below
For there can never be an encore, herein
the dwelling of the one in the guise of a crow.

What can I say that today was a lethargic day but the weather was very nice.

The news of swine flu is all over the place here but no one has the illness as of yet (well, not that I know of). I'm going to keep this a short post since I decided to get something to eat right after posting something here (I don't know why I chose to post something in the first place).

Hmm...I have no rants or complaints, nor do I have any major problem on my mind right now. The only issue is my own laziness (I blame the warm blanket around my shoulders, it's making me sleepy) and the state testing shizz next week (SAT/CSAT's). I think I can muster up something about it... *gets thinking cap on, you know, the one with the lightbulb*

School test scores determine whether the government intervenes in the matters of education...not something other districts tend to be worried about since their students are a bit more competent when it comes to learning...but not for the school I go to. Ah, the woe that are tiny districts and tight compact housing with low wages. Now, it sounds a bit bad...it isn't but at least the mayor's doing something about it (putting new buildings, parks, schools, etc. etc.) hopefully the test scores will improve as well. :|

So state school or not? An interesting thing to keep in mind...


Oh. In second period today, tons of people were reaching for the hand sanitizer...and, why do I mention this? Because I sit next to the teacher's desk and the sanitzer is practically a hairsbreadth away. :| It's nice that it's getting the limelight and all but using antibacterial items too much may cause new bacteria to pop up who are immune to anti-anything. :|

Three cheers for evolution!

(Nah, I'm not angry.)

4/29/09 EDIT: Hmm, it appears that the flu did spread here. The elementary school got closed but the high school is still open (as you can tell I'm typing this in class, otherwise I would be sound asleep). Here's me wishing everyone well and to wash your hands kiddies.
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I LOST THE GAME.

9:41 AM
"(damnation of memory)"

Fading into a nightmare
of delusions of grandeur
and vain suppositions of power...?
The people...are fading too.

A wellspring of faith
brings hope but
like a flickering candle--
it dies in the midst of a rough wind.

Bring your hands together
from the invisible chain that binds
those with the same fate
and fight to return to what once was.

A conquest of peace
brings about destruction--
Does this make it all the more worthy
or meaningful? meaningless?

Nightmares last
as long as the night lasts
but life continues onward for eternity--
Will we ever wake up?

A shallow sleep
is not sufficient
to take back what was lost
and forsaken.

in memoria di me--
aegri somnia de perdido.

(in memory of myself--
lost in troubled dreams)

--damnatio memoriae

What ho! (the Shakespeare meaning please) Tis' another weekend to which I'm grateful is finally here. It's been a tough week for me but I'm sure others have it tougher than I. (If so, how are you? and you've got a listener on your side if one is called for.)

So lately I've been assigned by my Graphics teacher to design something for a T-shirt--it's a class project--but, what he doesn't know, is that I've been in a big artistic slump ever since I've been writing. Though I don't see it as a bad thing since I've been writing more poems as of late and that's quite an achievement for me (though they don't make much sense at times, or they focus on a character or a specific story). But I'm glad that I've gotten into the habit of writing in poem form since it helped me on an English assignment I had to do on Tennessee Williams' play A Streetcar Named Desire. It's a lovely play, though violent and at times suggestive, but it gave me a lot of insight on real-life conflicts and character development.

The strange thing in my school is that no one likes the books that are assigned...is that true? maybe, but I previously watched the movie and loved it so I loved the play version twice as much. Then, there was Millers' The Crucible, which I liked and made me take an interest in Nathaniel Hawthorne's works... Before that, we had to read various articles, though a bit boring (since the way we did these were really repetitive) they were on interesting subjects. Some, if I remember correctly were on: childhood obesity--who is responsible?; teenage crimes and whether sending them to adult jail was justified...things like that.

...I believe what I was trying to say is that reading is a fun and educational activity. Call me old fashioned but people, especially teenagers need to read more. I'm kind of tired, if not a little annoyed, when a student says something that is so obvious if they had read the material assigned.

I'm at a crossroads right now. One, I could continue ranting about what I find faulty in the educational system, while implementing multiple exclamation marks in the process. Or, two, I stick to my Libran nature and not poke the sleeping bear with a 3 cm toothpick. IT JUST CAN'T BE DONE! And besides, my mind wanders faster than the Roadrunner does from Wile E. Coyote. (I'm trying not to focus on anger because it makes me feel idiotic as I type.)

Is it just me who feels a bit lost? Probably...or not.

...Here's something that was mentioned today.

RULE 1: You are playing The Game.
RULE 2: Whenever you think about The Game, you lose.
RULE 3: Loss must be announced

The objective of the game is to forget it exists.
Crap. I just lost the game.
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Culture

9:45 AM
I don't know. I wrote this for Computer Graphics but I thought it was funny enough to post here—okay, maybe not funny, but it's something. Basically, I had to write about culture and what your culture was...
------------------------------------------------------------------
Personally, culture is what people share. It’s similar to community but it refers to a group of people. A good example would be the culture of Native Americans (nomadic, the appreciation of family values, higher spirituality) and/or how the culture of Spanish ranchers had on the visage of the American cowboy (and from this it’s evident that I do pay attention to U.S history). A single person’s culture differs since everybody isn’t alike; especially those not living in the same continent or overall area. So, in turn to a human being’s train of thought, a culture is hard to define due to the fact that one culture tends to derive from another—like the basis of Christianity is pretty much in every religion yet; people still start feuds religiously (which is downright idiotic).

My facts may not be right but I still make my point. A culture is what we all have. A culture is also vulnerable to criticism, verbal and/or physical battery and rivalries. Culture, in a sense, defines people—or helps people define who they are on this Earth. That is my take on the definition of culture and, in this stage of life; I can’t really say that I partake to just one culture. I am an artist, a writer and probably just another idealistic dreamer who chooses not to judge.
If there’s a specific word for this type of “culture” or if there are people who share that same belief as I; it’s probably right in my face—to the point where I’m unable to distinguish it for what it truly is. Besides, I feel really out of place in the materialistic world. Where are the people who appreciate what they already have? Tree-huggers? Where are those aspiring writers and artists who want to make their mark in this world?

Prepare to laugh out loud (LOL) since there is a way to bring together people who share the same ideals.

Internet communities.

(that too is a culture right?)

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Beautiful Souls?

10:18 PM
I've been doing some photoshopping some templates lately for my CompGraph class since we absolutely have to blog about our weekends and because of that I haven't been able to type as much I'd like (but I already typed up to halfway of Ch.4 so I'm all good). I also have assessments on Thursday and I can't wait till those are over since it's very very unnecessary and can bring your grade down even if you did all your assignments.


( Well, here's an example of the template I finished and I've yet to optimize it so its a huge file.)

But besides school, I just outlined the different possibilities on how I can end Ch.4 and the story overall--you see, I'm aiming for 14 chapters minimum for this story and I'm even thinking of making a sequel since I mentioned the world called Ligeia (and since I probably won't get too much into that since Dmitri and Alice go through their troubles and stuff). And yes, I named that world after a Poe story. If I decide to do that I'll try to make it interesting *evil laugh*


But yes, this time the update will surely be on Friday not on Saturday for sure. >:-)

Hmmm...

I'm trying my best to make this post longer...

Aha! Okay, I just suddenly got into writing in a journal recently (since not everything can be put on an online blog) and while I wrote I would get bored since all I saw were words. So I found my old Middle school journal (which was just really a small notebook) and took the pictures I put in there (since I used to print out these anime pictures and paste them along with my entries) and started placing them in my journal. I also put in some of my sketches that I cut out and some memorabilia like theater tickets, pictures of people I knew that gave me their picture and some random stuff. And, being the person I am, I wrote all over the inside cover and stuff...writing lyrics or phrases that I like (like those latin phrases I googled lol). In the midst of all the taping of pictures and organizing everything so it's all collage-y...I wondered on why people keep journals in the first place.

Of course, it's a easy answer but you can muse about it for a while (and that's what I do: muse about things and write them down/ in this case type so bear with me; I'm quite a messy thinker...whatever that means).

In the world we live in today do we not wear masks when we go out in the world? Saying one thing while thinking about another--something that might not be appropriate to say. From personal experience, its very true. Not everything can be said since we worry about the opposing sides reaction. We keep secrets and sometimes die for them, thinking that it's noble. Wouldn't that be great? To die a good person and not someone who caused misery. Wouldn't people be remembered more for their good deeds than their bad ones? Not necessarily true. But we do remember more of the bad than the good. And that doesn't seem like a good way to be remembered since the good deeds that person might've done is quickly overruled by the bad.

There's always two sides to situations, scenarios, people.

Isn't that the part where journals come in handy? To say what cannot be said; in a way, it's beautiful: people pouring their hearts out on paper (maybe not their hearts but something) and expressing whatever they want, good or bad. I'm not saying that everyone should keep one though--this is just me playing around with this idea--but it's something to consider since I don't want people looking into my journal (although I made it all pretty inside).

Maybe having a journal can also be a metaphor to relate to the person who keeps it. Do people who keep journals have beautiful souls? (No, not the song by Jesse McCartney--which is a nice song though) Now that depends on what beautiful and soul individually means to you, but, in my way of viewing things, yes.

What makes us complicated brings together mentally, but draws away from physically. We all don't like to talk about things that happened but things still need to be said in some form or another...So get a pen/pencil/ketchup then a piece of paper, a journal/diary or those cute napkins from cafe's and write your story.
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Some Random Post

9:20 AM
(Yes, I read Vampire Knight)

I'd say that this week hasn't been the best, since I've been tired for some reason and have been caught sleeping in class a couple times (and it's only Wednesday). Although I can't wait for Friday—since that's the day when I turn that age. Besides that though, I'm supposed to blog (as an assignment for Comp. Graph) about my career. Seriously, I'm stuck between being an illustrator or author but maybe I'll just blog a bit about both? (Boy, that sentence was pretty pointless.)

I do apologize for my last post—I have a hard time straightening things out if I don't read it over a couple times—it was very emo of me. Yes, setting aside my personal life, the story is going well. At first, I thought I was going to have to delay this week's update but I don't have to anymore. :-D

Though I do wonder why I chose to write a vampire story in the first place. *ponders for a while* As for the Sunday Scribblings story (invitation) I wasn't sure whatI was thinking when I wrote that so...yeah.
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Random UNAUTHORIZED Post Ahead!

9:29 AM

Hello all!

I doubt that this is appropriate (since I’m typing this during my Comp Graphics class). I haven’t been posting much on this blog but that’s changing at this very moment (LOL). Currently, I haven’t really been paying attention in school—just kind of drifting in and out due to lack of sleep, as well as my cousin’s mom staying over at the house. The bad thing about why she’s staying here is that my mother hates (I think) my cousin and her mom for some stupid reason so she can’t ever find out that they’re here (but I like them). There were a few close calls but those were dealt with—I’m just glad she’s staying till this weekend! But besides all the family drama, it’s been a good week (when I’m at home) and I finished re-reading CHILD 44 just yesterday. Now I’ve set my reading glasses to The Story of Edgar Sawtelle—and I may need glasses since the formatting and font size makes the page seem like a group gathering at Tienanmen Square (and that’s a heck of a square my readers—okay, maybe a good one or two, or that server ghost from some unknown land somewhere that haunts all innocent bloggers). GASP.

As for the story, hmm it’s going fine—had to do a rewrite of the upcoming one though and it totally threw me off since I’d have to rewrite the third chapter. The whole once a week thing is kind of fun since that gives me enough time to balance my writing and schoolwork—and I need to focus on the schoolwork since I’d hate to take summer classes (for the very vain reason that summer is not my most favored of seasons; that happens to be winter).

Now, to conclude this rushed post—I’ve probably rambled a bit here. My birthday is coming up and I’m not sure whether I should be happy or not happy, etcetera (16 is a fine number but I have my reasons).

*flees from the server ghost for messing with my font—or did it?*

[insert dramatic orchestrated music HERE]

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Back-to-School Report

6:06 PM
Hmm...try adding a high school in renovation AND an anti-social clingy idiot (pretty much for today I was). Well that only spells out disaster and panic...lots and LOTS of panic. It sounds a bit extreme but in a nutshell that's what happened to me today. I had no idea where my classes were and I barely knew anyone in my classes so it was pretty awkward for the first few periods but I kind of loosened up around the afternoon. Though note, I said kind of.

Around lunch time I was off to turn in a class change form to the office and I couldn't move my legs but once it was turned in I was relieved that I began to cry (and I made quite a scene) at the wrong time b/c someone I knew was coming. ( I guess you can say that it was that kind of someone, hope someone gets my drift) But yeah, my day was awkward as heck and I'm tired from everything...especially the panicking and clinging around some people (I have to make it up to them somehow! D-: )

...*goes off to panic some more*

:-) Ah well, maybe someone else had a better day than me. First days have always been tiring for me (this one especially) because you have to get used to everything and with the classrooms arranged the way they are I have to find new routes since the campus is pretty big. Now with the whole east side torn down (the school is being rebuilt and won't finish till 2010) people are more clustered and grouped around lunch and is a hassle to get around (then theres me who's panicking in some corner in the distance...eh...I was joking that time).

I found something ironic today. In 2nd period we're supposed to blog about our day...I didn't get to ask or tell the teacher that I've been blogging since summer...but I was wondering whether I should just cut and paste some of my entries here and send it to myself via email and I turn that in as the assignment. I was considering that since my good ideas don't really tap in during the morning hours and there's barely anything to talk about that early in the morning except about what happened in the past and that can get really boring and emotionally stressful for me... but that doesn't mean that I'll consider this idea. It'll definitely save me some time and I won't have to worry about the eye over the shoulder kind of thing. I'm really really self-conscious about these kind of things. If you're wondering it's a Computer Graphics class; that's how I/we have access to the internet. Plus, I like to blog with music anyways.

Though I do like the smell of new textbook or any kind of book for that matter. (random moment)
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