Okay so after a couple of months I finally got my period! I was really worried so I looked up some information on it earlier and there were many causes which may delay or stop it overall. Once I processed the info I evaluated myself and I have been stressing about stuff lately (ex: I had the final exams(on the friggin last week of school), I rushed a report (and even did a couple of all-nighters for it), parental issues, I was trying to rush myself on a comic I was doing, pretty much doing too many things at the same time all the while when my body was paying for it-- I was hardly eating as well) So I slept finally afterwards and ate and drank water--and then it happens once a visit to the bathroom. I cannot tell you how relieved I am b/c even the word relieved isn't enough of a word to express how I feel.

The main reason for that is that I wouldn't want to bother my father about it--he's dealing with enough problems as it is and I doubt he gives a **** about my female problems. (Please ignore that-- I haven't vented out in a while)

So I figured I'd get myself a treat. I happen to have mint chocolate chip ice cream sandwiches--located in the scenic garage area (we placed a fridge there). (now this is what I really want to talk about) I made my way to the fridge and found myself startled when a loud noise occured. I quickly look up and saw that it was a rat/mouse (it definitely looked a bit big so I couldn't tell) and it ran so fast that you could hear it's paws scratch against the wall! I found myself in a panic as I took the ice cream--though I tried to stay as calm as I could-- but then I began thinking that there were more and they were going to go into the house (b/c I left the garage door open) so I began to walk really fast. Once I closed the garage door I rushed up the flight of stairs, entered my room, closed the door and screamed. I was all: "OKAY, THAT'S IT. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK~ WE HAVE RATS IN THE GARAGE! IN...THE...GARAGE!!! EEEEEEEEPP!" Well something like that. (Close enough)

And there you go! My crazy AM story.

By the way, I'm almost done with Chrysanthemum in Winter. I finally got past that ballet scene--now all I have to do is finish it. *somewhat proud*

So what's up with me?

Huhm...I'm a little late on the back-story but I have a couple of days left. I could have been able to finish it if my muse hadn't struck me so early in the morning.

So I got to drawing and it turned out pretty good...so I figured I might as well take a small break from writing. BUT then, I took a nap-- and now I'm typing this.

Now I'm not sure on what to do. Eh-I'll find out in a while. *signs off*

O.O *proceeds to screaming ohnoes to the sky* Okay, the deadline for the story is next Wednesday! (just looked at their email) Can I make it in time? Well, I hope so...but I need to write a descriptive scene where Augusta is in Ballet practice--and, well, I've never seen one in real life before! So, this is what I did, I looked up some ballet info and even some footage on YouTube and I may just have the right stuff to write it out.

I just took a break so I could absorb the information and did some character profiles in the meantime...my brain needs some rest seriously.

It was pretty cool seeing people do ballet but I found myself muttering, "that must hurt" a couple of times. Have you seen how ballet dancers move? I was about ready to faint when I saw them dancing and even the kids who practice it... they all have such long limbs! (I feel somewhat normal now lol *I have long arms and legs* ) So I now have a mutual respect for it. :) I hope to do some justice when I write about it though-- I wouldn't want to get clobbered by the people who do actual ballet. Oh! I've recently unearthed an old favorite from my very very dusty brain lmao!

"My Favorite Things" by John Coltrane.

A piano version of this was playing during an audition video I saw-- and I knew it sounded familiar...so I found the name of the song & the artist's name and looked it up. So, there you go. I feel ashamed for not remembering it-- it's been a long time since I heard it though and there were many versions of this song around. :D And that's all I guess. (if I found out a way to place this song on my blog I would put it.)

*slaps self* Okay, my sleep schedule is totally messed up. I always wake up around five in the afternoon and sleep just when the sun rises. Although I am advancing in my writing ordeals I'm not getting much sleep and..well, I'm suffering for it. (that's a nice way to put it) I found out a way to fix this and that is to stay up throughout most of tomorrow and sleep around the regular nighttime hours. Seriously, I've tried that before but I ended up running out of steam by the afternoon and then I wake up around the morning hours--there was also a time where I slept in the afternoon (after two all-nighters) and woke up around seven the next day.

So so so so....enough about my sleeping schedule--this is summer after all. Sleeping right can wait until I'm a junior. (which I am partially happy about--b/c I have to pass my classes or else I won't have much free time when I'm a senior-- also so I don't have to do summer classes)

Huhmm...I had another dream today and it was somewhat foggy. I can only remember a few details about it so I can't really classify it at all (meaning that I give it a name) but it seems a little familiar--maybe I've had it at least one or two times previously. I can't say much else about it but it does include volleyball...O.O and I like volleyball! (Plus, I was planning on trying out for the team too so maybe its a reminder for me to get a physical soon b/c June is ending.) Thats all about that...

Ah, the back-story for Collin is going well. (Its a little over 1000 words that's for sure--and its also for the TWC challenge so I have to wrap it up...but I wanted someone to review it before I submit it b/c it's kind of raw and no one has critiqued my writing for a long time) For that I might call up an old friend or ask the people in dA to do it. So I'm off to finish it now...I don't want to miss that deadline. ^_^ Also! (I made a plz account on dA too it is called omgwhutplz ) Currently, I'm just spreading the icon around by initiating random plz fights on other plz accounts there...it's kind of fun really.

Well, thats the news for today. Oh. And I still haven't got that urge to draw again--the writing bug is still here apparently lol but I'm having fun with my writing and that's fine all on it's own.

I'm just going to write on what I remember about this. But I'll pre-analyze it due to it being on my mind at the moment.

This dream is sort of based on a desire I had or the idea I had about relationships. So what makes a good relationship? I'm not sure but, considering the person I am, I'd want stability and an understanding person to be with. Keep in mind that these ideas tend to derive from old customs and I am, in some way, pretty old fashioned which ironically isn't what a teenager is supposed to be? Well anyways, the dream embodies this idea: the want of a traditional-valued person to break tradition in order to pursue their own desire but is to afraid to do so--thus, the want of a person who is able to take them from tradition and into the current world.

I hope I got that idea right. In simplified teenager means: good girl meets bad boy-- lollmaorofl (I think thats pretty understandable right?)

I'll narrate this as well.

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The world outside is a cruel place, or so I hear. It happened not long ago when we, the community who had lived on the surface were forced to hide from the outside. Since then, we've made this abandoned complex our home--our place that is also hidden from the world. With only a few openings that let in the air from the outside and a stairwell that leads to the top of a skyscraper where there is no safe way down from the top of the building. (the complex we live in is seemingly buried underground, the skyscraper protruding from the ground) It had only been a few days since the incident but already our ideals have changed from escaping to staying in.

Constantly, I 'd hear that we already have everything we need and don't need the outside world anymore. And that was true but what about us? The teenagers and young adults who were used to the outside already? And, in fact, would rather be? They were the ones who desired the outside and tried to escape but have failed in their attempts--of course, now they're dead.

However, I'm not one of them. I'd rather stay inside and help the ones trying to find the right necessities for the rest of us to live off of--because this complex was a big place and used to be a mall or shopping center of some kind, or so it looked like. There were some rooms where it turned primitive instead of modern type rooms. This one room I remember, I almost got crushed by a huge round boulder--like those in the adventure-type movies. But, I would've gotten crushed if--well, if I wasn't saved by somebody.

He wasn't like all of us, wanting to stay huddled inside. Instead he wanted the fresh air outside--and even told us, me especially, that the outside was a better place now as well as he visited the outside at least one time. Of course, he wasn't given any attention but I somehow wanted to believe in his words-- no matter what my family said about him or what the others said. It was simply a desire--and I never knew that I could feel this way. And since I stayed with him for a long time and actually learned about him I finally took a chance and decided to go along with him to the outside world. Sure it was a risk, but it was one I was willing to take because, that'd mean that I would have to forsake my tradition--or at least the ideals of the people who lived in the underground.

As we went through the snake-like passage ways I could feel a burst of excitement. He said to me as we were running, "I think you'll like this place." That only made me even more excited so we ran even faster. Soon we did reach the outside. It was more dark and forest-like almost, also like a dimly lit neighborhood with trash strewn everywhere. As I would run out of breath, and eventually I did causing my pace to slow down, he took my wrist and implied that I run faster. "You don't want to fall behind," he said, "you don't want to get caught either." (the scene changes pretty fast here) We ducked behind a couch, he motioned for two others (some people that were trailing us it seemed like) to come closer in silence. I looked above the couch and there were people eating at a dining table. These people were my family members--and the whole table was quiet. I looked at him and he motioned for quiet. Then, he pointed at a square on the floor nearby. He let go of my wrist and went over to the square, pulled it from the floor and gestured for us to go inside. We all did and, as he was last, made sure to close the entrance behind him. He took my hand this time as he pointed to a building a few meters away. "That's the place" he said, "its kind of a secret...and its practically deserted since that time."

The place really was deserted and looked run-down from the outside. By the way, which was really cold. Before going inside though, b/c trash was blocking the entrance, we had to move some and eventually we went inside. The two trailers stayed outside, 'to keep watch' they said.

Despite the outside look of the building, the inside was a different story. (the details here are foggy) It was certainly a change of pace from the underground complex though. Suddenly, it began to shake and we had to escape somehow. There was something that went terribly wrong it seemed like--we never got to find out but the entrance was starting to cave in. (I can't remember why though) But, just in time, the two outside dug us out and we suddenly had to run back to the underground complex. (this part was rushed, I was about to wake up then it seemed like)

Daylight was reaching the building. Of course, the two of us made it but I don't know about the other two. We found ourselves climbing up the stairs that led to the top of the skyscraper. "That was close," he said, while smoking a cigarette. I was still excited about the previous events and even said to him, "That was fun, truly it was. We should do that again sometime." He seemed happy when I said that and I was happy on my own accord as I rushed up the stairs. Then he grabbed my wrist, I stopped.

I said, "Whats wrong?"

(This is how the dream ended, I swear *is embarrassed to even type this out*)


From that, he pulled me closer and kissed me on the stairwell. He let me go right after, taking another inhale from the cigarette and said while walking up the steps: " I bet you've never seen the sun in a while haven't you?"

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And that is where the dream ends. This dream actually, and probably was, the driving force of a story I had in mind. I've written only little about it but its a story similar to this. I've yet to think of a proper title for it, nor a decent summary but its hard b/c I chose an actual place to place the story in. (and that's pretty tough b/c I need to learn more of the place before I actually write about it-- has anyone heard of the Valentine's Day Massacre? anybody? I was thinking of putting the story there once I saw half of the movie Some Like it Hot <--- which is a funny movie; its lol-worthy so watch it! )

So, yep, another strange dream but its a somewhat modern concept. I think I understand on why an underground complex though in the beginning and the skyscraper in the end. Now that I think about it this is a pretty decent dream! *is proud of dreaming of weird things* Though its more metaphoric on some points or some symbolism there-- which may give people a hard time understanding it...or not understanding it at all.

Hmm, that'll be all about this dream--though I'm not sure why a huge boulder too (like the Indiana Jones kind of boulders) but I think I understand on the concept of being crushed by a boulder. Considering the dream itself I think that if the girl were to stay in the building (b/c she was on the verge staying in/ to going out ) The ideal of staying in would've crushed her former self and becoming into what she did not want to be. I think thats that what that meant.

So people, I hope this dream has some meaning. (and blogging has never been more exciting XD )

This isn't much news but I still haven't been able to draw much. Although I did post that last night but still, after a couple of hours of sleep I still haven't restored that drive to draw anymore. Though my plans for the comic is kind of ruined I don't know if I should go through with it now at all. I'm still thinking about it but that won't stop me from finishing the script and several goodies for the story.

Also, with no particular title in mind for this update I chose what is happening to me right now. (so yes my lip is bleeding at the moment and I hate the taste of blood in the afternoon, its like copper) Hmm...have I had any dreams lately? Not that I remember but I still remember some dreams I had in the past.

Here are some dreams that I've classified over the past years--they're re-occuring so thats why I name them this way:

The Earthquake Dream
The Alice Dream
The Underground Escape Dream

There are several more but these are the ones I remember or vaguely remember. I think I'll write about them soon--in fact, maybe I will. *off to blog some more*

The Writing Circle is pretty much an online/offline community for writers to collaborate about their works. I say offline as well b/c it is also a group between friends who share a love for writing.

"Once upon a time, there lived a teenage girl in Wisconsin who was bored. She should have been memorizing her part for , but she didn't want to. What she really wanted to do was write, but she had no inspiration. So she got this great idea...a system of monthly writing challenges to keep everyone's creative juices flowing! She told her friends her idea, and lo and behold, they liked it! And thus The Writing Circle was born..."

(That would be a quote from the TWC FictionPress account.)

Among the members within the TWC, monthly challenges are given out. These challenges determine whether a member may or may not stay within the group. The challenges are pretty much free-form and will consist of how many words minimum and several topics that should be addressed within the written piece. These also have a strict due date and extensions are required to be asked for beforehand with a good reason. Certainly, this is a community dedicated to writing and to better their skills (thus the purpose of these challenges in the first place).

Of course, as a member of the TWC, there is more to it than writing challenges but that is for members to know.

You can find the TWC at:

Gaia Online
FictionPress

If you would like to become a member of the TWC or basically contact: thewritingcircle@gmail.com .

To apply to be a member there is also a specific form to follow:

Pen Name: (no more than 12 letters/2 words)
FictionPress: (if applies)
Gaia Online: (if applies)
Email: (required)
Gender: (not required)
Country: (not required)

Happy Writing! (member or non-member) :)

That will be what I will be doing instead of drawing. Suddenly, my heart is just not into it at the moment...but that means that I won't be sketching as usual. I'll keep sketching my characters in order not to forget their design...and I have a tendency to switch things around for a bit.

So, for this whole week, its about character concepts and continuing the stories that I have left somewhere--eventually gathering dust. Today I just remembered that I usually have these sessions where I drift from drawing to writing. And apparently, I have the urge to write rather than do something visual. I wouldn't say that that was bad but--since I have drawings I owe to some people it could be. (Glad that I finished most of the commissions though! :3 ) So I'll be giving a hand at writing for awhile--it usually lasts for a span of months sometimes even shorter.

I have bad news too about the comic. O_O I scanned in an inked page and...it didn't look as I expected. Even with the text that I put on GIMP--I think I should just stick with doing it with pencil so the submissions are easier and less time-consuming. I think--once I get back into it that will be what I will do. (--so there is still hope that I can get one of the four chapters done by this summer.)

In other news, besides my drawing dilemma and sudden desire to write, I'm starting to get into the manga series Immortal Rain and Hoshin Engi. They're really awesome! lol Tis a shame that they didn't have a better copy of the second volume of IM or I would've been able to know what happened next-- it was a series that I've been wanting to get when I was still collecting Angel Sanctuary-- B&N just never had a solid not damaged copy of it. (which is frustrating to me b/c I'm somewhat a perfectionist) But I'm happy that I got it now and can't wait to get my hands on the other 7 volumes (8 in total).

Hoshin Engi, on the other hand, has 23 volumes in total-- once I found that out I was all "what have I gotten myself into?" kind of thing but I really like it so far! Also, its two dollars less than a regular manga AND only one dollar less than manga serialized in Shojo Beat (like Godchild or Vampire Knight). So, I got volumes 1-3--and since I have the B&N membership card--I got 10% off! So it was just 6 dollars instead of 7.99. Thats just great b/c, well, this ones a keeper.

I'm kind of glad that I got some shonen-type manga--its a good change from shojo. Shojo titles practically dominate the top half of my bookshelf! (only b/c some of the series that I have reach the volume count of 20: Angel Sanctuary, Hana-kimi, Fruits Basket.) Immortal Rain however, is technically shojo (b/c of the story) but it has a shonen style to it. Its great though b/c I can compare between the two of them. They really have their differences especially in how the panels are arranged and also the use of screentone...its kind of fascinating lol (I can be a geek as I want to!) but that is kind of important for an aspiring manga-ka.

Okay, onto Story Week. Yus! I shall be focusing on my stories and there is one that I've been wanting to write for awhile--also b/c there is a deadline in order for I am a member of the TWC but more to come on that later! (I'll post about them in fact)

So expect the background story of Collin, the way I see it, its a tear-jerker in a way so I'm excited to write it. And, yes, I shall be posting that into the story blog as well. Cheers. (^^ says a dedicated Muse fan)

I don't know what's going on anymore? *sigh*

Help please. I don't know whats going on anymore. My hand is starting to hurt when I pick up a pen. Should I sketch something out instead?

I feel as if I can't do anything now and its sucks. I'm going to need a few days off from stuff and relax a while. maybe read some manga and pick up that one book...

And no, this is not depression. (and plus, I suddenly got the urge to blog.) *shrugs*

Wish me luck.

:) I'll get over this soon.

After falling asleep I had a dream that was as familiar as an old friend. That kind of feeling. I know I've had that dream before. Then again, I've had a lot of dreams like that, this is just one of them.

This one is called the Earthquake dream b/c, well, its associated with earthquakes. It seemed like a movie to me although there were real feeling involved. Instead, when one would watch a movie, they actually feel what was going on. The sting of the night air, the ground shaking, the various shouts and screams of people and even the gunshots and windows crashing. You could hear and feel them all. So...lets see, the dream went like...(I'll try to narrate it as if a short story)

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Is this what you would call a normal night? I don't know, it seems the shaking shatters that conception. Before I knew it the ceiling above me had already began to quiver and the garage door flailing wildly about. I stood right behind this debating whether to stay the inside of my collapsing home or head into the fray that was the night--home to many flocking people and also to those who have bad intent. I chose the outside and swerved just in time for the garage door to miss me--which would have been a fatal blow.

So it was, nighttime, and I followed a bunch of people I didn't know--running with them amongst the shaking ground. Soon, instead of the neighborhood I've known for six or so years, the setting changes to that of a landscape like that of a small city...and a building with regal, presidential like stature--whose back was like that of an apartment complex-- was the so-called safe haven we, the group of people, had been looking for.

I still ran with them and also shared their rush for worry once we descended those apartment like stairs--the desire of fleeing from the earthquake still fresh in us. Although the ground had stopped shaking once this new scenery was introduced. So we did descend those stairs and ended up into that regal part of the building. There were many a long stair and the group was tired but we suddenly had to run back up once...well, we were spotted by these Secret Service Type guys. And...they also had guns with the intent of shooting.

So we ran faster up the stairs and made a turn, only finding another stair descending--which we thought was the way out...but it wasn't, we just came up in the same place all over again and the SS people were closing in. And, somehow someway we became trapped between those staircases, guns pointing at us. When suddenly a teenage boy--somewhat 16-17 or even 18-- comes up with the intent of distracting the SS in order to save another.

The group then saw the guns point at him and made their way out--and we finally did this time--this time we ended up outside that building. But on the way we heard glass smash--and the woman, whom the boy wanted to save, began to blame herself for she thought that he had died when in actuality...he lived by jumping through the window.

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That is when the dream ends for me. I'm trying to type this from what I remember. I think I found the meaning of this dream already while typing. :D Which saves me a lot of thinking on its own but I'm glad I found it...now for that Alice dream...

Okay, the meaning. Pretty much it does concern my current life and that I have to face the music and take a stand for myself. Currently, I'm afraid to do something like that--so the shaky ground kind of represents my doubts. If I were to go with the flow and just do what I do (in this case run towards a solution) then the problem would resolve itself. And, with the way I think, I think that I might be doing something wrong if I were to do the right thing--when in actuality it would only fix the problem rather than add to it. The re-occurring stair-cases symbolize my overlapping and repeating doubts about whether to do the right thing. Hmm, I'm not sure where this going but now I know what I should do.

Well, I'm off to face the music. Maybe I'll come out okay just like the boy who rushed through the glass.

Huhm...News as of now... Lets see.

So yep, I've posted most of the Kimi no Koe to Yakusoku information on its own blog-- so I've decided to create individual blogs per story--and this blog shall be for personal use (as that can be seen already). Here I'll write reviews of sites I've visited, the occasional rant, favorite bands and songs etc. life is an odd place. :)

After a while of blogging the sun rises from the East and the sky is a beautiful wash of blues, purples and oranges with clouds wisping away as the sun makes its way up. Its rather amazing how fast the sun can rise but its hard to look at it. Oh. And who can forget the first breath of fresh air once stepped outside? A few days ago I was able to do such a thing--except for the step outside part but looking out the window, opening it and peering outside is just about the same. There were birds outside too and one was literally on a nearby rooftop somewhat dancing and chirping its melodious tune. Since then I have been enjoying the cool mornings like one would enjoy hot chocolate on a winter-like day.

Yes. This is what I'm thinking of as of right now. The mornings can do that to you...especially when you lead a life like mine. Although it being summer, one cannot help but wallow in what they feel at the moment. The prolonged days that is under the name of Summer Vacation can sometimes really be a god-awful drag but its just a matter of using your time. If you use it, this time you have, then it wouldn't be wouldn't it? Sure High School seems so tough--life beyond it, even tougher, but how about using that time, even in school for that matter, in order to set yourself up for the future? It's like a saying I keep hearing about, and I think it goes like: "Use the time you have now, go through those struggles already so you don't have to pay for it later." Well, something like that, but, yes, its pretty true. Quite true to be exact. *nod* Yep. Go ahead and take advice from a 15 year old...you may or may not regret it. :3

So beside the advice giving...onto blogging! Ah. Yes. I can give good advice--if anyone asks for it. Feel free to email me or chat on gmail. If you have MSN messenger I also have hotmail: crimson.starlight@hotmail.com

Hmm? What else is there to blog?
Oh yeah! I have a lot of stories under my belt that I want to write about...but thats old news (well kind of) I'll just create blogs for them so all their information is in one spot.

XD And thats the news for today.

Bloggin blogging blogging. I never thought that I'd be blogging but here I am.

With all the problems I've been going through now I choose to blog??? *sigh*
Okay, so here I go.

So what do I do basically?

I draw a lot. I draw so much that my hand will hurt. Pretty much because I want to get better. (as you can see from my deviantArt account) Also because I want to do illustrate the stories I write for I'm not that good a writer-- I'm a decent writer though but that is not what I want to excel in. Plus, I like the way artists express ideas through drawings, either the use of color or just pencil. Its like music for video games! For the hero, there has to be a song that fits them or a song during battles/fights or the game would be...incomplete. Artists take ideas and put them onto paper--somewhat visualizing the ideas around us and enabling others to do the same via inspiration. I think thats great.

Besides drawing, I'm a somewhat amateur philosopher, athlete and just an avid reader. You can say that I'm just a teenager--which is true--but please, do not lump me within the stereotype many people have put teenagers in or the ones depicted in those awful teenager movies and those other movies which were created for humor and other crap. Well thats one thing to know already, I hate movies like those! And I even dislike the people who like them-- but what can you do? Those movies give off so many influences that are pretty unnecessary in the world...and it is annoying as hell.

What else is there to know?

XD Since this is the internet I'll stick to spouting off my ideals and stuff.

Stories! I have a lot of ideas and many characters...though I didn't start thinking about them until years ago. I want to write stories that will embody one idea--so they're short. I even have an ongoing idea that I've tried to write years ago but could never do so b/c it was too much of an adventure-like story. (like Inuyasha or something like that) It was getting repetitive and did not make much sense at all. I bought some notebooks in fact just for my stories but I write much better once I'm on the computer--the notebooks are for the on-the-go-OMG-I-have-a-good-idea-that-came-into-my-head-and-now-must-write-down kind of thing. I know, thats a handful to say. :D

So...Yay to blogging!

So what else about me?

RANDOM. XD I tell corny jokes sometimes--so thats something to look forward to. I used to be an avid gamer. I am a somewhat idealist and realist--being libra that kind of makes sense doesn't it? I don't (and rather not) conform to a certain religion. I am interested in the history of the world or our world I should say b/c the history of the world may be too broad of a subject. Oh yes, I like chatting too (well sometimes on either gmail or MSN) I can give good advice if you ask for it. :D So another Hurrah to blogging!

I'm not sure on what else to say but I'm off to create blogs about my stories and then start blogging about them. Gee, that sounds fun ne? (I can be sarcastic too--but here I wasn't...it just sounds like it.)